How We Work: Our Methodology
"Today’s Family, in our culture, is the most unstable,
most diverse, most confounding…"
Jeannette Lofas Ph. D., LCSW, Founder of The Stepfamily Foundation
Our Research tells us it’s the biggest unsolved problem…
It is a patchwork, a crazy quilt of confusing configurations…
We as counselors are trained in the basic precepts of psychology. We use only some of this. We teach our clients through educational materials and counseling about the specific behaviors and dynamics inherent to divorce and stepfamily systems. We educate our clients to the fact that the step system can not and will not function as does a biologically related family. We teach couples how to partner in the context of step.
We ask the couple to separately define their vision and their wishes as to just "how" they want their family to function. We coach couples to respect each other's point of view. Our model is positive and forward looking. It is based on the precepts of business management. We are mindful that we are merging two family systems. Two family systems with different ways of functioning, different ways of looking at the family, at the world, and at God.
We ask each partner to describe his/her point of view, and we honor both. We must merge these realities to create a functioning and orderly stepfamily system.
Using the business model we create an action plan, define job descriptions - roles, rules, responsibilities, and contributions of each member of the in-house family and the visiting children. We ask about the allocation of time, energy, and money from each person's point of view. We build couple strength, practice partnership and teach our special communication skills. We also work on issues of discipline, manners, visitation, the prior spouse, co-parenting and much more.
We work to create a positive action plan, accomplish a task and obtain a solution at each session.
Most clients complete their work in about 5 - 8 sessions, utilize about 10 hours listening to tapes and doing homework.
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