This is your book and our book. Our dream is that you tell us about your stories, concerns, complaints, questions to enlighten and expose the mysteries, misgivings and consequences of gender differences at work.
In working with step-families for decades, I found that once the stepfamily issues were resolved, the conundrum of gender reared its confounding head. This led to my first gender book, “He’s OK, She’s OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women,” published in 1995.
This, in turn, led me to “He’s Ok, She's Ok at Work.”
This book is about gender differences at work
And it is about YOU... it is an interactive book…
We tell you of the differences and delights and you tell us your story. Your experiences, comments, complaints, concerns.
It is generally agreed that men and women bring different talents to the office: men are better at some things. Women are better at others.
But just exactly what are these talents?
But before we begin it is important to note that these characteristics do not pertain to ALL but to an overwhelming 80% of males and females.
Jeannette Lofas has been working in the world of men years before women's liberation. Her career in broadcast news began when only a few women were "on air." To achieve/survive she learned to speak & think in "male."
After all, the crew was all male, the other reporters where all male, the bosses were male. Female values did not exist and if a women's way of looking at something was put forward, or even suggested, it was disparaged. With a "what the hell are you talking about."
As a result her lifelong quest for managing the differences between men and women then began.
The Line & The Circle
Once upon a time there was a Line and a Circle,
And Line was strong and thick and powerful, and going.And
Circle was a pool, warm and wet, and waiting.
Circle said to Line, “What’s wrong with you? You always go straight, never looking to the right or the left.
Being a line must be very boring.” Line said to Circle, “What’s wrong with you? You go nowhere,
You have no direction. You go ’round and ’round. You never go anywhere, except back to where you began.”
Gathering the News, Jeannette:
As a reporter, working exclusively with men, I began to know that often they did not see an event the way I did. “Gathering the news,” I slowly realized that men and I covered a story very differently. In local television news, a classic story is the coverage of a fire.
When the men covered a fire story, they’d go to the burning building and film the reporter standing in front of it, saying something like, “Here on 70th and Main we are at a twenty story building, valued at approximately 50 million dollars. So far, two firemen have been hospitalized and four occupants have been found dead.”
I would film the fire story differently. For example, we would film the burning building, but open with a tight shot of a fireman carrying an old lady down a ladder from a window, lovingly, big and gentle, sweet and strong. We would see her face and the fireman’s face. I would narrate. “Mrs. Land had lived here for 20 years. She is a grandmother of six and is well-known for her chocolate chip cookies.”
My stories were most often about relationships. I gathered the news in terms of people, while the men most often looked at the story in terms of facts and logic; how much, how tall, how many. Of course I included the facts, but always after we got to know the people.
When the news director saw my first fire story, it was already on the air. After the piece, he came and looked at me, lambasting, “What was that? Old lady, chocolate chip cookies?..”
The next day, the boss heard from the station owner’s wife that she liked the piece and liked me. So he called me into his office, saying, “Well, whatever the hell you are doing out there — just go do it!”
He’s OK, She’s OK at The Office explores the innate architecture of men and women. It is about their biological differences, which are substantiated by scientific studies. Our intent is to honor the mysteries and celebrate the differences and how those differences inform their personalities, styles and interactions in the office 80%.
Follows his anatomy. Like the line and the phallus he moves forward in one direction.
Pays attention to how things are put together, and how they are working. Is driven by the need to know and to fix.
Penetrates the snarling traffic to achieve his goal, never stopping, never asking directions. The goal is always there, like the prey in his ancestor’s mind.
To him, asking for directions means he is the lower ranking male. (Many women are thankful for GPS).
He focuses on achieving his goals.
Follows her anatomy. Like the womb she is circular, bringing people to her, surrounding herself with things and people.
Innately she pays attention to the relativity of children, family and society. Is driven by the need to relate and create.
Meanders, looking into the store windows. She notices the coat on that woman, the children of another, and the luscious new cherries in the supermarket.
Like her foraging ancestors, she looks and differentiates. Her radar is on; her attention circling, sorting, and investigating.
So how does this relate to the office?
She focuses on affiliating with others.
You can also click here to download Part 1 of: He's OK, She's OK, The Mysteries Of Gender At Work.
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Jeannette Lofas, PhD, LCSW