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Fathers Day

6/4/2014

 

 Happy Father’s Day!

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This year we honor: The Divorced Father Whose Children Visit.

It is a difficult task to be a father every other weekend and for a month in the summer, but father he must.  This issue is a big one in our counseling; just how do we father is such a short time.

Here a few tips:

1. Fathers Must Continue To Teach And Guide

Your children need direction and love, although time is always too short.

2. Fathering Is An Art And A Skill.


Fathering as a divorced dad takes special skills. Learn them

3.  Remember Good Manners 

The father teaches rules of the game, to be a good winner and a good loser, respect, self-discipline, persistence and much more.

4. Children Must Treat Their Father With Respect In Order To Respect Themselves

If partnered know that it is often emotionally difficult for your children to look at and treat your partner, and even you, with the respect. 

5. If You Are Alone, Decide and Structure the Rules of Your House.

6. If You Have A Partner, Work as Partners on the Rules of Our House.

Check out the Family Rules book for ideas.

7. Know That Your Partner’s Point of View Is To Be Honored.

She may have a different point of view on how your children should act, but remember, women have been teaching social skills since the caveman.

8. Watch Becoming A Fly-Me, Buy- Me, Do-For-Me Dad--- A Disneyland Dad.

You are in good company. Most Dads whose children visit are tempted just to be a pal dad.  Know these kids need fathering.

9.  If There Are Difficulties, Give Yourself The Gift Of Information.

10. Have A Happy Father’s Day.

And make sure you do. Perhaps, their mom has reminded the children. If not, have your partner plan a card buying time with them.  If all else fails take the kids out to lunch or dinner in celebration of your day.

Be bold and enjoy the hardest and most fulfilling job of your life.




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    Author

    Jeannette Lofas, Ph.D, LCSW

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    President and Founder of Stepfamily Foundation, Inc., Dr. Lofas has been managing stepfamilies for thirty years. In 1995 Lofas received a presidential award for her work. Research reports that she has an 84% success rate. A stepchild and stepmother herself, she is considered to be the leading authority on stepfamilies. Dr. Lofas has written five books: Living In Step, McGraw-Hill, Stepparenting, Citadel, How to Be a Stepparent, Nightingale Connant; He's OK, She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men & Women, and Tzedakah, Family Rules, Kensington Books.

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