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He's OK, She's OK - Brain Differences

2/27/2016

 
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Jeannette Lofas, CSW
Joan MacMillan, MSC, MFCC

Brain Differences In The Male
During the first few weeks in the uterus, all human fetuses are essentially the same. Then, six weeks after conception, the male fetus receives a massive bath of testosterone, and the male brain is forever changed.
(Moir, Anne Ph.D. and David Jessel, BrainSex, Bantam. Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc. NY, NY 1)

The effect of the male hormonal brain-bath is to narrow the corpus cal-losum, which is the switching mechanism between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. Thus, the male brain architecture is, to a large extent, the source of the task-oriented, one-thing-at-a-time, unilateral, focused thinking that we associate with the male way of being. He is linear, and so communicates in a linear way — A, B, C. You are wrong if you miss D.

Brain Differences In The Female
In the female fetus, the corpus callosum remains constant and considerably wider than in the male. This wider passageway allows greater transmission of data between the brain hemispheres. Not only can she process left brain logic, but she also has easy access to the right brain: seat of intuition, emotions, and imagination.
Her bilateral thinking allows her a special skill in knowing the related-ness of people and things. She is less linear, and more circular in her thinking. She may jump from A to B to L, driving most men crazy. Her circular communication is difficult for the male brain to process.


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He:   
Deals with the linear, the sequential, the concrete, and the logical. The male thinks objectively, looking at outside  data, lining them up, one thing after another to get an objective, bottom line answer.

Thinks in a linear manner like a calculator: 1 + 1=2.
She:Thinks with both sides of her brain--the left linear, the right intuitive and feeling. The female witches back and forth. She is primarily a subjective thinker, looking inside for answers as to how she feels, and how things relate to her and her world.

Thinks more like a radar system, scanning and receiving data, relating back and forth, up and down and around like a circle.

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Babies
Baby Boy and Girl Twins Show us the Dissimilarities
Fran and Jim Johnston had been through it all. They had been married more than 10 years, all the while trying to conceive a child. They finally consulted with a fertility expert which resulted in the birth of twins — a boy, Stephen, and a girl, Sally. Believing that every person, regardless of sex, could do anything, Fran and Jim agreed to raise the babies with no sexual stereotyping.

Within days of taking the children home from the hospital, both Fran and Jim noticed the differences. Baby Stephen spent hours watching the crib “bumpers,” cloths of different textures and colors, while baby Sally spent most of her time sleeping. When she was awake and being held, Sally would gaze in the direction of her parents’ faces as they talked to her. She would be very still and express obvious pleasure in the tender touches of her parents. When Stephen was being held, after a short time, his eyes would wander in the direction of other sounds.

Studies have verified the Johnston’s observations. From birth, girls are more sensitive to touch than are boys, and are less tolerant of noise, pain, and discomfort. Boy babies are more wakeful, and show more interest in objects and in sounds other than the human voice. Repeated research shows that from the earliest years, girls talk more than boys.

It Continues in Nursery School — Girls Relate, Boys Relate and Push
In linguistic studies of nursery school boys and girls, 100 percent of the girls’ noises were relationship noises through conversation and language. Only 68 percent of the boys’ noises were relationship directed. The remaining 32 percent reflected male themes of pushing, shoving, and jostling each other. The noises sounded like, “brrr,” “bam,” and “bang.”
(Kohn, Robert, “Patterns of Hemisphere Specialization in Preschoolers,” Neuro Psychologia, Vol. 12)


When She Starts to Tell Him What to Do — The Four-Year-Old’s Tea Party
A little girl asks a little boy to have a tea party with her. She shows him to a little table with carefully set toy tea cups. He reluctantly obeys, putting down his truck, picking the tea cup.
She says, “Let’s pretend I am the Mommy, you are the Daddy. Do you want cream or lemon?
Sugar? Two lumps or one? No, take your tea cup and hold it like this, not like that.”
The boy looks perplexed and uncomfortable. The little girl instructs, “Now pass me the cakes.”
The little boy reaches down, grabs his truck and hits her with it.


 
 
 


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    Jeannette Lofas, Ph.D, LCSW

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    President and Founder of Stepfamily Foundation, Inc., Dr. Lofas has been managing stepfamilies for thirty years. In 1995 Lofas received a presidential award for her work. Research reports that she has an 84% success rate. A stepchild and stepmother herself, she is considered to be the leading authority on stepfamilies. Dr. Lofas has written five books: Living In Step, McGraw-Hill, Stepparenting, Citadel, How to Be a Stepparent, Nightingale Connant; He's OK, She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men & Women, and Tzedakah, Family Rules, Kensington Books.

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