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The Stepmother: Classic Complaints 

6/13/2014

 
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The Stepmother: Classic Complaints


  • "Everyone in his life, his kids, his former wife, and his business come before me."
  • "He expects me to treat them as if I were their own mother, but then doesn't let me be a mother."
  • "I want a child of my own, and he's had enough."
  • "His ex calls and he jumps to her commands. It seems as though she has more influence on him than anybody."
  • "My money goes to support this family because his money goes to take care of her and them."
  • "His former wife never says thank you for any of the things I do."
  • "The children treat me like the maid; I'm expected to do everything that their mother would do for them, but without the respect they would give to her. Even the cleaning lady gets more appreciation than I do."
  • "He believes that buying them something, or entertaining, is fathering."
  • "Guilt runs his relationship with the children."
  • "His children say the meanest things to me, and my husband defends them and tells ME I'm overreacting."
  • "I think I'm becoming the "cruel" stepmother. "
  • "The worst of it is, when his children comes over, we have no sex life."

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    Author

    Jeannette Lofas, Ph.D, LCSW

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    President and Founder of Stepfamily Foundation, Inc., Dr. Lofas has been managing stepfamilies for thirty years. In 1995 Lofas received a presidential award for her work. Research reports that she has an 84% success rate. A stepchild and stepmother herself, she is considered to be the leading authority on stepfamilies. Dr. Lofas has written five books: Living In Step, McGraw-Hill, Stepparenting, Citadel, How to Be a Stepparent, Nightingale Connant; He's OK, She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men & Women, and Tzedakah, Family Rules, Kensington Books.

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